Saturday, December 30, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Is Spongebob Squarepants a contraceptive sponge?
- He's a square sponge.
- He lives in "bikini bottom."
- His closest friend is a starfish. (Starfish is a slang term for another body part).
- He works at the Crusty CRAB.
- His worst enemy is Squidward (who kinda looks like a sperm without being obvious about it.)
You decide!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
That's How I Roll
Haven't been here for a while. Alot of things have happened since I have posted last. I won't bore you with the details. But it's time for a new photo...cuz That's How I Roll!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
R.I.P. Croc Hunter
Crikey! At least he died doing what he loved.We all should be so lucky!
Steve's London Times obituary
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Twisted Nursery Rhymes
Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you Dumb Ass"
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you Dumb Ass"
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Catholic Girls
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, " Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ ?
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, " Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says, " Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.
One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, "Reeva, What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, " Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ ?
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, " Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says, " Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.
One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, "Reeva, What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."
Friday, August 18, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Things I have learned
I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
No man or woman is worth your tears. The one who is, won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have!
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them!
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet that person, we will know how to be grateful.
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened!
There's always going to be people that hurt you. So what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try to know someone else & expect them to know you.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
Whatever happens, happens for a reason!!!
No man or woman is worth your tears. The one who is, won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have!
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them!
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet that person, we will know how to be grateful.
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened!
There's always going to be people that hurt you. So what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try to know someone else & expect them to know you.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
Whatever happens, happens for a reason!!!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
A Bad Joke
An extremely ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks "Are they twins? "
The woman says "No, he's nine and she's seven. Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No", he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
by: Dylan Thomas
Monday, July 10, 2006
July 4th Webcam Fun
On occasion Sally and I like to turn on the webcam and play a bit for our enjoyment. We had such a chance on the 4th of July. We usually start off slow with a little striptease and move on from there depending on how the viewers are responding. This night all was going well for about the first 20 minutes. I guess that our (my) first mistake was going into a "local" chatroom. We received a IM from someone about 5 miles from our town. He started off asking what we were looking for. I replied that we were playing solo, just having fun. He asked if we were looking to swap partners. I replied that we were not into swapping. This guy wouldn't take no for an answer. I tried ignoring him but he just kept buzzing me. I kicked him off of the cam but he still persisted. By this time, Sally had had enough and asked me to shut off the cam completely. This little bonehead (he said he was 21 and his gf was 20) cost everyone including me a good show! This was our first bad experience on cam. Sally is now leery about trying it again. Alas, I can only suggest again in the future.
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